The Audition That Left a Mark
Several years ago, I stepped into an audition room, as actors do—hopeful, and ready to give it my best shot. I was asked to utilize my body as part of my craft for a commercial. But in that space, someone in power—one of the producers—unfortunately made a joke at my expense.
“Chestnut face.”
People in the room snickered. I didn’t immediately understand the comment, and I was too focused on landing the job to react well to the situation and insult. The casting director didn’t say anything either, and I left, still unaware that I had been insulted. It wasn’t until later, when I looked up the term, that I realized what had happened. It stung—because it was mean, because it happened in a space where I was supposed to be seen for my talent and I was there because they asked me to be.
That afternoon, I went home and took a photo of myself. In it, my body—sculpted—was on display, but my face was hidden under a bag. Looking at it now, years later, I see two truths in that image. One: I did have a body worth being proud of. Two: At that moment, I felt unseen, my humanity disregarded in a space where I had offered it as a part of my work.
I wish I had been able to call the producer out in that moment. I wish the casting director had spoken up. But I also know that, over time and with intention, I have learned to stand up for myself—and for others.
If there’s anything I take from this experience, it’s this: Power doesn’t grant permission to belittle. To anyone who has ever felt dismissed, diminished, or mocked in a space where they should have been respected—you are not alone. You deserved better then, and you deserve better now.
And if you ever find yourself in the room when someone else is being treated that way, I hope you’ll be the one who speaks up. Because those moments matter.