Paul Cram, actor, artist, and advocate, recently opened up about a deeply personal question: What advice would you give your younger self? His answer is as moving as it is bold, delving into his experience growing up in a high-demand religious environment and the journey to embracing his true self. Raised in the Assembly of God, a Pentecostal and fundamentalist Christian tradition, Paul shares a powerful message of self-acceptance, resilience, and love—for himself and others.
“You’re Going to Be Okay”
For Paul, the most important thing he would tell his younger self is this: You’re going to be okay. Growing up in a religious environment that condemned his identity as a gay man, Paul wrestled with feelings of shame, fear, and confusion. But with time, he learned to not only embrace the truth of who he is, but to celebrate it.
“It’s alright that you’re gay,” Paul would reassure the younger version of himself. “You deserve so much love—from your family, your friends, and from a committed partner in a loving relationship.”
Love as a Human Experience
One of Paul’s deeply held beliefs is that there are unique lessons and experiences that can only come through a loving romantic relationship. He passionately rejects the notion that anyone should be denied these opportunities based on their identity.
“How fucking dare you claim to speak for God,” Paul says, directing his righteous anger toward those who weaponize religion to deny others their humanity. “How dare you try to take away my right to exist and experience the fullness of life, including love and connection.”
This raw, unfiltered emotion underscores Paul’s message: no one has the right to invalidate another person’s existence or prevent them from experiencing the joys and challenges of a loving relationship.
Finding Support Beyond Religion
For those who may be questioning their religious upbringing or struggling to reconcile their identity with their faith, Paul offers hope and practical advice.
“There are so many resources out there,” he says. “Look online, pick up a book, listen to podcasts—you don’t have to go through this alone.”
Paul emphasizes the importance of seeking support from communities and individuals who understand what it’s like to navigate these complexities. Whether it’s finding a therapist, connecting with affirming faith groups, or joining online forums, help is available for those ready to embark on their own journeys of self-discovery.
A Message of Hope
Paul’s words are a powerful reminder that it is possible to break free from the constraints of a high-demand religion and live a life of authenticity and love. His message to his younger self—and to anyone who needs to hear it—is clear:
You are enough. You are deserving of love, connection, and joy. And no one has the right to take that away from you.
If you’re on your own journey of questioning, healing, or self-acceptance, remember that there is a world of support waiting for you.